The Duplex Planet - Beeswing Market

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WHAT KIND OF FOOD WOULD YOU WANT TO HAVE NAMED AFTER YOU?

DAPHNE MATTHEWS: A pumpkin, the biggest one there is, because I'm that big.

LARRY GREEN: Green bananas! Ha Ha!

ERNIE BROOKINGS: How about cereal, a dry cereal.
WALTER MCGEORGE: Watermelon

GEORGE STINGEL: Caviar

BILL LAGASSE: Spaghetti

CHARLES SHEA: Wheaties:

ANDY LEGRICE: Crackers. or Fig Newtons.

BILL NIEMI: Probably some kind of chocolate cake, and maybe a brand of
some good coffee.

JACK MUDURIAN: Beans, Friend's baked beans with pork in it in a tin can.
I've seen it advertised on televisions.
DBG: And you'd like it named after you?
JACK: Yeah, Jack's baked Beans in molasses sauce with pork in a tin can.
Of course I couldn't give 'em any money to do that. Money - the root of all
evil. Money can't buy physical health.

DAVID BREWER: Steak.

WALTER KIERAN: Chicken

ABE SURGECOFF: Well I don't know, I haven't decided. I'll say apple, but
you'll say no.
DBG: No I won't.
ABE: I'm afraid I'll be quite a while.

GENE EDWARDS: Probably geese or chicken.

(from Duplex Planet issue# 83)

ROY ELLIOT: Why is it they put holes in Swiss cheese when it's limburger
needs ventilation!
WALLY BAKER: They use a shotgun to put holes in Swiss cheese.

(from Duplex Planet issue #106)

JOHN FAY: First I worked in Schraft's Candy Company. Then I worked in
Duran's Candy Company. I was on the belt there too. A big belt in Duran's,
The candy would come down on the belt and I'd pack it. everything went on
the belt. I was a packer. There was no money though, so I quit. Then I got
a job at Necco--Necco and Schraft's. Shraft's was the best - more money.
Bonus all the time at Schraft's. I'm sick and tired of candy. I worked in
so many candy companies. I don't touch candy no more. Mrs. Miller'll give
me a piece a candy once in a while and I'll make her happy and eat it.

(from Duplex Planet issue #4)

WHAT'S THE WORST JOB YOU'VE HAD?

JOHN FALLON: Workin' for the First National. Twenty five cents an hour
for forty hours, fifty hours. Grocery store. I waited on people and loaded
the shelves. The pay was the bad part, the work wasn't bad, you met a lot
of people.

(from Duplex Planet issue #127)

DBG: Tom, how much would you pay for shaving cream?
TOM LAVIN: Well. I used to work makin' it.
DBG: Oh really, where?
TOM: Gillette.
DBG: Did you get a discount on shaving cream?
TOM: No, I forget how they used to do it.

(from Duplex Planet issue #20)

WHICH DO YOU PREFER: COFFEE OR MEAT?

JOHN COLTON: Coffee. It all depends on how much of each you have. It could
be a hamburger or it could be a steak.

GEORGE MACWILLIAMS: I used to like meat. Roast Beef, years ago. Seems like
I've lost my appetite.

FRANK WISNEWSKI: Give me a coffee and a jelly doughnut. I like meat too,
naturally. Meat is better than coffee. Give me a steak dinner and a couple
beers and a bare assed broad.

(from Duplex Planet issue #20)

BILL NIEMI: Ginger ale is supposed to taste good on a Friday.
(from Duplex Planet issue # 43)

DBG: What's better than tapioca?
WILLIAM "FERGIE" FERGUSON: More tapioca!

RECIPE: WHATEVER YOU LIKE BY FRANK KANSLASKY
FRANK: Put it in a bowl.
DBG: What?
FRANK: Anything.
DBG: And then what?
FRANK: Follow the instructions. That's it ain't it? Cook it.
DBG: What do You have when you're done?
FRANK: Whatever you put in there.
DBG: How many Will it serve?
FRANK: Well, it says on the box.

(from Duplex Planet issue # 43)

KEN EGLIN: That salad is worse than Delaware!

(from Duplex Planet issue # 43)